Are you stuck?
Four reasons why.
Were you waiting and wondering all month – “what does she mean our goals don’t go “poof” and just appear.” Okay, I am sure you weren’t, but nevertheless, today I want to talk about why our goals don’t come to fruition. I am going to give you four reasons why we can stay stuck in areas where we want to make progress, change or grow.
Number 1. We aren’t aware of the beliefs underneath that are driving our behaviors. Okay we could end here and hit most of us, but we’ll move to number two just in case.
Number 2. We don’t rewire our old thoughts specifically to tell a fuller story. I use a phrase “what is more true” (we’ll explore more together in the coming months). As a result, we don’t have anything substantial to fall back on to replace our old narrative.
Number 3. We don’t feel like our new way of thinking is true so we don’t believe it and thus we don’t act on it. We just want things to change by changing our thoughts.
Number 4. We don’t sow our seeds over time. We don’t live out our new way as practice, daily.
So it looks like this….You are aware of the beliefs driving your behavior. You have created a different story/beliefs around that thing. You have actually attached actions to your new beliefs. And lastly, you are doing the new actions consistently over time.
I’d like for you to look at ANY area of your life where you have made progress or changed something and I would be willing to bet all four of those reasons are present in the positive form!
I said this in our last time together but I think it bears repeating. Working toward our goals is difficult. Making changes challenges our deeply rooted patterns and rubs up against the old ways we have thought and operated. Those old ways are usually responsible for us being in the same place, doing the same thing and frustrated.
Our next few blog entries will be focusing on the four principles I believe are required to make and sustain long term changes and they correlate to my four reasons why I think people stay stuck.
Spoiler Alert for next time…
Regarding where you are stuck, the root is a Flawed Mindset or way of thinking. Solution: First identify your Flawed Mindset and take it captive.
But before we leave today, I want to circle back to your homework from last time because we are going to build on it this month. A quick refresher, you were to spend :05 answering the questions below.
- What would have made last year a great year? Or if it was great, better than it was?
- If I could fast forward to next year at this time, what am I hoping will be different this year? What would make 2022 a great year?
I want you to look at what you wrote down or identify an area you would like to make a change and write it down. Your homework between now and the next time is to spend :05 examining your area you want to make a change in light of the four reasons why people stay stuck. I want you to see the area of change through the lens of these reasons and ask yourself which of these you are already doing? Okay, that’s it. Today we are just creating awareness around the area you say you want to change.
For the record, I spent some time in mid-January answering the same questions.
I’m sharing this to encourage you with how life changing reflecting can be. As I started with spending some time on that, I was able to see clearly what was in the way of 2021 being great. By the way, it was the BEST year ever because of where it ended including the best day and week of my life so far. But what was in the way of making the year better was my fear! When many of us have strong emotions like fear, we can tend to try to control things and people around us. It’s not pretty in my case, I’ll assure you. But just the act of reflecting on the year allowed me to see vividly what was in the way of my year being better (fear and subsequent control), and that alone has been so powerful that it has shifted my mind and heart in a way that is allowing me to let go of similar fear and control today. Anyway, I challenge you to go through the exercise yourself, I believe something instructive can come from it.
Until next time remember God’s mercies are new every day. Which means you get a fresh start every morning (every moment actually).
Okay, just one more point I promise. The mindset that derails so many people from overcoming a barrier or accomplishing a goal is the all or nothing mindset (I know, I’ve only mentioned it 67 times in 5 entries but it’s January and some of you are already teetering).
You can achieve results by remembering this – just because you didn’t do what you said you wanted to do yesterday, doesn’t mean you have to quit today. Hang in there and just do :05 because remember “it will do”.
Happy January and new beginnings,